Physics. You never know what’s next — first we had gravity and electromagnetic force, then scientists told us about the strong and the weak force, but none of that matters now, as CERN scientists confirmed Wednesday they’ve found strong evidence for the existence of the Force.That’s right, all you other forces can move along now, because there’s only one Force that’s typed with a capital F, and that’s the Star Wars variety.The technical ramifications of this great discovery, facilitated by the use of CERN’s Large Hadron Collider, are too complex to go into right now. Suffice to say that what you so far perceived as gravity, was some prankster Jedi using his powers to keep stuff attached to the Earth. Yes, the man has literally been holding you down all this time.
According to said CERN theorist Ben Kenobi of the University of Mos Eisley, Tatooine, The Force is “an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us; and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.”
For details, refer to Kenobi’s upcoming paper, “May the Force be with EU.”
Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.