WARNING, GRAPHIC CONTENT: Top scientist reveals her thoughts on what ET might get up to in the bedroom
What happens when a little green man loves a little green woman and decides to have a little green baby?
No-one knows, because humans have not yet caught beings from outer space in the act of physical affection.
But now a top evolutionary biologist has decided to shed some light on how aliens might make love.
Dr. Sarah Otto, director of the biodiversity research centre at the University of British Columbia’s Zoology department, told Mirror Online that humans would have to ditch their earthbound preconceptions if they want to understand what sex might look like on another planet.
“I’ve never thought about aliens before,” she said.
“But it’s an interesting thought experiment.
“What do we know about four billion years of evolution on Earth and what would we predict if it happened all over again on another planet?”
Men are from Mars…
Earlier this month, an American woman called Niara Terela Isley claimed reptilian aliens regularly raped her at their base on the dark side of the moon.
But aliens would probably find it very difficult to get jiggy with humans, because our bits and bobs are likely to be totally different shapes.
As well as this, it’s unclear whether the familiar gender binary of male and female would be replicated in an alien species.
Alien eroticism would probably be totally different, having developed along its own evolutionary lines.
Dr Otto said the two gender approach was unlikely to be found on another planet, because it doesn’t always exist on Earth.
“The separate male and female sexes isn’t even universal rule on this planet, let alone others,” she continued.
Aliens could be hermaphrodites, Dr Otto suggested, which means they can essentially have sex with themselves, but this would depend on what sort of beastie ET turned out to be.
This could be useful, because it means ET wouldn’t have to find a partner and then talk them into bed.
“Organisms that can move and find other mates are more likely to have separate genders,” she said.
“Those that are stationery tend to have male and female organs on the same individual.”
Intruigingly, Dr Otto suggested that a being that can’t move wouldn’t necessarily be any less intelligent than one that can run about, raising the prospect that alien lifeforms could look more like trees than humans.
Just watch out for those wandering branches.
Attack of the Clones
In Star Wars, the famous Storm Troopers were said to be exact copies – or clones – of the bounty hunter Jango Fett.
But in a real galaxy far, far away, aliens are unlikely to clone themselves, because reproducing your exact genetic make up could leave a species at risk of being wiped out by one single disease.
If a creature cloned itself, the species would not be able to benefit from the combinations and mutations which occur when men and women merge their genetic code during reproduction.
“Clonal species don’t tend to do well in the long term,” Dr Otto added.
Not every species on our own planet relies on sex which takes place exclusively between two genders.
“Rather than male and female, some species have categories like A, B, C, D and E,” Dr Otto added.
“But despite fact they may have multiple mating types, it’s only two that tend to participate in mating.”
This means aliens would unlikely to get involved in orgies, because when it comes to producing the next generation, more than two parents is certainly a crowd.
It is often said that humans are unique because we enjoy having sex.
Of course, every species is hardwired to reproduce – otherwise they wouldn’t last very long.
“It’s not surprise that evolution has linked sex to pleasure centres of our brain,” Dr Otto said.
This would mean aliens would likely feel a an urge to get down and dirty, whether they enjoyed it or not.
Brave New World
In his famous novel, Aldous Huxley imagined a future where sex was purely for fun and babies were produced in factories.
We asked Otto if this was unlikely to be the way aliens produced their offspring.
“I sure hope not,” she replied.
“In factories and manufacturing industries, you are trying to do things the same way over and over again.
“Evolution doesn’t work that way.”
Just like earthly creatures, aliens are likely to have benefited from the flukes caused by combining their genes over the courses of many millions of generations.
“Evolution stops if replication is done perfectly,” Dr Otto concluded.
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